Questions and Answers
by KellethMetheus
Summary: At the end of Nikki Heat, Kate is asking herself some tough questions but will she like the answers she gets. Oneshot for now but there might be more
1. Nikki Heat

Author's note: This is my first foray into the world of Castle. Not sure if there will be more to this. I do have another piece, but this one may just have to be a stand alone. Not sure yet, that might depend on you guys.

Thanks to my beta Tanya Reed. You did an awesome job, but all mistakes are mine as always.

* * *

Kate Beckett paced the ladies room, her mind whirling as she hid from Natalie Rhodes, her creepy clone. At first she had been flattered by Natalie's attention but as the actress had got more and more into character Kate had just wanted the woman gone. Yesterday Natalie had began talking just like Kate and now she wanted Castle too, was there anything left that was Kate's alone? Catching sight of herself in the mirror, Kate stopped and sighed. If she was honest with herself the actress wasn't the real problem, it was Castle. It always was.

Why hadn't he slept with the Nikki Heat, or at least the on screen version of her, when he had the chance? He'd sure been all over Natalie in the elevator. What did it mean? Did Castle have feelings for her? Was Lanie right? But if that was true why hadn't he made a pass at her since those first few days. There were moments when she thought he might feel something for her, but then he opened his mouth and...

Spinning on her heel, she headed out of the bathroom and down to autopsy to talk to Lanie. Maybe she could make sense of all this. Kate had to get this all straightened out, and her friend was the best way to do it.

The doors banged closed behind Kate. "Castle-" Kate paused shaking her head as she paced the room.

"He didn't. I thought he was better than that. He slept with that... bimbo." Lanie stormed around the autopsy room. "I mean the way he looks at you-"

"No, Lanie, that's just it; he didn't sleep with her. I saw them together. She was crawling all over him in the elevator and he wasn't saying no at that point, but he did. Castle said no to sleeping with a beautiful actress. What does that mean!"

Lanie patted her friend on the shoulder. "It means what I've been saying all along. He loves you and you just need to open your eyes and see it. Besides does Josh make you as happy as Rick does?"

Kate was startled by the use of Castle's first name. "What-"

"I'm not talking about the guy that follows you around and is annoying. I'm talking about Rick, the guy he is when you two are alone. Think about the way that man makes you feel, and then decide."

* * *

Weary, Kate walked into her new apartment shedding her coat and tossing it over the back of a chair. She contemplated going to the kitchen and scrounging up something to eat, but she dropped down on the couch instead. She just didn't have the energy to do anything else. It had been a long day.

Kicking off her shoes she curled up on the couch looking around her apartment. When Castle had told her that this place was available she had thanks him kindly for the lead and scooped it up. It was just what she needed after her old one was destroyed, in fact it was even better. It was like the place had been built for her. Castle really did know her well.

With a smile on her lips she touched her father's watch on her wrist. Lanie was right, Rick did make her feel special. Who else would run to the rescue and smash down a door for her? She still remembered how worried he'd been that night. If she were honest with herself, she knew it had nothing to do with Nikki Heat. His concern was for her, Kate. Why else would he fix her father's watch?

Was Lanie right? Did Rick have feelings for her? Did she have them for him? What was the next step?

Her doorbell rang and with a sense of anticipation she went to the door. Opening it, her smile faltered. Josh stood on the doorstep.

"Hi, I missed you." He kissed her cheek and entered as reality set it. Castle was with Gina and Kate was with Josh. The two of them had made their choices and now she would have to live with it.

Closing the door, Kate asked her self why she fell cheated.

* * *

There you have it if you want more, leave a review and you just might kick start my Muse.


	2. Poof Your Dead!

**Author's Note:** Sorry this took so long. Thank you to everyone who reviewed. It has been such a long time since I've had that many and it really made my day. I was hoping to get this up before last weeks show and have this story done, but my Muse has fled. I have one more chapter and in my beta, Tanya Reed's hands. I'm hoping that one will be up next Tuesday.

So if you want more Castle fics by me let me know. I may be able to pull off a mystery or two if I get enough demand for it.

* * *

"Castle broke up with Gina," Kate told Lanie without any preamble as she leaned against the counter in autopsy. They had solved the case, and she should be feeling better, but she didn't. Moving on wasn't as easy as she thought it would be, especially now that Rick was free.

Lanie looked up from the the instrument tray she was laying out. "Really, and you care, why? I thought you'd moved on with Dr. Motorcycle." She raised her eyebrow. "You have no feelings for Rick. Remember you told me this last week, after the Nikki Heat thing. You've moved on and so has he. You both missed your chance last summer. You have Josh and you are happy with that."

Kate shrugged. "I know that. I just wondered if you heard, that's all." She tried to add a uncaring air, but from the way Lanie turned, placing her hand on her hip, Kate knew she'd failed miserably.

"Are you ready to admit you want Castle and you want him bad?"

"Yes... no... that's just it..." Kate began pacing, interlocking her fingers and pulling them apart showing just how agitated she was. "I don't know what I want. He's Castle, but he's also that guy I've-" She ran her hand through her hair.

"What guy? The one you've been secretly in lust, now love with, since you opened that first novel? The guy who helped you through your mother's murder by give you a place to escape? Don't think I don't know what this is all about." Lanie went to hug her but stopped. "I've seen the way that man looks at you, Kate, and it's not all one sided."

"I'm not sure if you're right. Even if you are, what happens if I give him my heart and he stomps on it? I don't think I could come back from that..." Kate met Lanie's gaze for the first time. "Last summer when he went off with Gina, I thought I'd missed my chance. Now he's free again, but now I'm with someone. Should I drop Josh, to chase after a dream?"

Lanie snorted. "If you're actually asking that question, I think you know the answer, girl. Just take a look at him and ask yourself why he's really here day in and out. It ain't Nikki Heat."

Kate opened her mouth to say something when her phone rang. "Beckett!"

She had a short conversation before closing her phone. Looking up at Lanie's determined face, she decided retreat was the best option. "I'll talk to you later."

Lanie looked up from the body. "Sure Remember what I said; stop running and he'll catch you."

Kate walked away, with her thoughts in turmoil. Could it really it really be that easy? She wasn't the type to just walk up some one and blurt out how she felt. Emotions weren't her forte. But the fact remained before she could start anything with Castle, she had to end thing with Josh first. Stifling a sigh, she wished there was an easy way to accomplish that.

* * *

Castle settled into step beside Kate, feeling at peace; he felt much better now that his relationship with Gina was all over. He'd been trying to end it for days, but hadn't known how.

Reaching out, he touched Beckett's shoulder. "Hey, I wanted to say thanks for not mentioning that article or asking what was going on."

Kate pulled bouquet of flowers out of her sleeve. "Not a problem."

Castle took the flowers from Kate and grinned. Last summer he had allowed his jealousy to rule his common sense. Not that his relationship with Gina wasn't fun while it lasted, but he'd known it was only temporary. Gina loved no one but herself, and he was in love with someone else, someone who didn't love him back. He had accepted that, sort of, but he still held out hope that one day she might come to care for him as he cared for her. Until that time, he was here watching over her.

Besides, tonight it was him at her side, not Motorcycle boy, and he'd take whatever he could get.


	3. Knockdown

**Author's Note:** Sorry this took me so long to wrap up but I got stuck and couldn't finish it but it's all done now and totals six chatpers which will be posted each week on Saturday until it's done.

Wow is everyone suffering from Castle withdrawal? I can't believe how popular this story is today. Thank you all for reading and making my day. I hope to finish off a few projects and get to work on a story post finale. I have a few idea kicking around in my mind but I need to flush it out a bit more.

Many thanks to Tanya Reed for looking this over and helping to smoothing out the rough edges...

* * *

Kate stepped out of the ambulance, her lips still tingling from Rick's kiss an hour before. At first, she had been taken by surprise, but how could she not respond. It was Rick's kiss after all, something that she had been waiting for since she met Castle. Cradled in his arms, she had let herself been swept away in the moment, caught up in the dream, but seconds later reality had set in. She pulled back and when she looked up into his face she knew why he's kissed her and it wasn't why she wanted it to happen_._ The look on his face, what did it mean?

"Always." Castle's soft answer replayed in her ears, and she knew.

The look on his face said it all, and she was now the one who had the obstacle: Josh. She liked Dr. Motorcycle Boy a lot, but he was more devoted to his career than he was to her. She hadn't been lying to Castle when she said Josh was off saving the world. The man was on a month long trip to Africa with Doctors without boarders and she was here. She hadn't even known Josh was leaving until he was gone.

Walking slowly back to her car, Kate wished she could turn back time to last summer, and that she had been brave enough to say something then."

But there was nothing she could do until she dealt with Josh, and it was time she did.

* * *

Rick paced his apartment feeling very stupid as a milkshake melted in his hand. He had kissed Kate and it was better that he thought it could be. All those nights, he lay awake alone in his bed thinking of Kate wondering what it would be like to kiss her and now he'd done it. Not for the reasons he wanted to but to save Ryan and Esposito, and probably the two of them as well, but what did it meant for their relationship? Had he just destroyed any chance of him and Kate getting together?

"Writer's block again, Dad?" Alexis asked, causing him to jump.

"What?" He asked, spinning around and spilling the milkshake in his hand, making a huge mess.

Alexis grabbed a towel and tossed another one to her father. As she scrambled to wipe up the mess before it spread.

"I asked you if you had writer's block again. You seem very agitated."

Helping Alexis clean up the mess, Rick said, "No, the third book is moving along well. This has to do with Kate. I kissed her."

Surprise and shock covered Alexis's face, and she hugged her father. "I knew the two of you would get together. I'm so happy for you."

Castle pulled back. "That's just it, we're not. She's still with Dr. Motorcycle boy, and I'm alone. Maybe that's where I'm meant to be."

Dropping the towel to the floor, Alexis took her father's hand. "Dad, Beckett likes you a lot, but you need to remember that, if this is real, the two of you are both running scared. You have to show Kate that you're ready to make a commitment, that you've stopped running, and maybe she'll catch you."

Rick gathered Alexis in his arms. "How did you get so smart?"

"I listened to you."

With a smile on his face, Castle helped Alexis to her feet. "Let's finish cleaning up this mess and then let's go have dinner to celebrate. Chinese or pizza?"

"I'd love a pizza, but, Dad, I'm not the one you should be with tonight. Order two and head over to Kate's. That's where you need to be."

"I don't know..."

Alexis grabbed his coat from the back of a chair where he'd tossed it a few hours before. "Never mind about the pizza. Just go."

She wrapped the coat around his shoulders, shoving him out the door and slamming it closed. Rick heard the chain sliding into place and decided she was right. Maybe it was time see what the future held for him and Kate.

* * *

The elevator pinged on Kate's floor. Rick was about to step off when he noticed someone step out of Kate's door followed by the woman herself. She hugged Dr. Motorcycle boy before kissing him and Rick just let the elevator doors slide closed.

* * *

There you have it sorry it's so short but I just couldn't figure out more to write. If you want to read one more chapter the next one is up on my website www. kellethmetheus. com (remove the spaces) See you all next week.


	4. Lucky Stiff

**Author's Note:** I am humbled by how many of you read this story last week. It's been a long time since my traffic has been this high. You have inspired me to get to work on the idea I have for my post season finale fic. I wasn't going to start it but you guys inspired me to get moving and then once I started it just didn't stop. I have four chapters typed up and a bit more on paper. I hope to have that story done by the end of the month and then it'll go off to my beta. I promise the next Castle fic will be updated much more regularly because it will be all done before I begin posting. I will probably start posting early August but we'll see.

* * *

Kate stared across the table looking at Castle, playing with her now cold Chinese food. Who was this man, really? For almost two years he'd been following her around driving her up the wall... saving her life and helping her solve tough cases. But really why was he here, was it like Lanie said, for her? Part of her wanted to believed that but it was all to fantastical.

If she was honest with herself, and she was trying to be. She'd had a crush on Richard Castle since she read his first book, just after her mother died and now here he was sitting across the table planning a wonderful way to honor her mother. No man had ever known her enough to think of such a great gift. Did he know it was her mother's birthday today?

Reaching across the table, she covered his hand with hers. "Thank you, Castle. I appreciate this..."

Blinking away the tears, she got up from the table and moved to the spot on her window where her mother's murder board lay spread out. Would they ever solve her murder, truly know all the why and hows? They were so close and it was again all due to Castle. What would she do if he decided to leave...

"We'll get them, Kate. I know we will. Just one more lead and we..."

Rick stopped talking as Kate felt her shoulders began to shake. Biting her lip, she was able to stifle the sounds of her crying. She hated moments like this, usually she had them alone in the dead of night, not before an audience. Especially Castle.

Fighting for control, she said, "Castle, it's time for you to go. I have to work in the morning."

His hand dropped on her shoulder and squeezed gently. "You know you don't have to do this alone. I'm here if you ever want to talk."

The hand linger for another moment before it began to pull away. Kate revealed in the warmth of his touch. For those fleeting few second he was right she wasn't alone in the darkness anymore. Tuning around she caught his hand.

"Some nights it's so dark, even with the bright city lights. I feel alone even when someone is beside me. Is there something wrong with me?"

Castle's hand cupped her cheek. "No Kate, there is nothing wrong with you, but you do lock yourself away, even from your friends. Most people don't bother to try and push past the frontage you put up but I see the person beneath, I know who you are Kate Beckett and you are beautiful and you don't belong in the dark. I can help you find the light again if you let me."

Kate closed her eyes. What did that mean? Was he saying he'd help her solve her mother's murder or was there some other meaning?

Castle gave her a little shake. "Kate, look at me."

Slowly, she opened her eyes. He was so close she could feel his breath on her cheek. "I will be there for you always. When the darkness crowds in on you call me and I'll help push it back. We all have those moments and let me help you with yours."

"Only if you will do the same."

"Always."

Neither of them could remember who could made the first move but their lips touched and this time there was no bad guys to watch or trick. Kate held on tightly to Rick not wanting to let him go. This was what she needed to banish the darkness. This man was the light in her life...

The shrill ringing of Kate's phone slammed them both back to reality. Breaking the kiss, Kate stared at Rick who was also breathing heavy. His hands still rested on her shoulders and he looked... scared.

"Castle..." The phone went off again and Kate was torn. She didn't want this moment to end, this thing was so new and fragile and if she didn't pursue it this might be the end. One stolen kiss in the night.

Stepping back, Castle let his hands fall from her shoulders. "You should get that it might be important." Emotions flitted across his face, disappointment, fear and regret as he headed to the door. "I should go it's... late."

Kate let him go as she picked up the phone. Josh's name flitted across the screen but she hit ignore. "Stay Castle. Let's warm up the Chinese and..." She stopped and what?

Castle turned around one hand on the door knob. "And what Kate?"

He was right until she broke up with Josh, there could be nothing between them. "Nite Castle. I'll see you in the morning."

His smile was sad. "Bye Kate."

Never had a closing door sounded so final.

* * *

There you have it. Two more after this one. Again I'm one chapter ahead on my site www. kellethmetheus. com (take out the spaces). I'd love to hear your thoughts since so many of you are reading.


	5. Setup and Countdown

**Author's Note:** This story was supposed to be a one shot that where I tried to figure out how to write these two but it just kept growing but now there is only one chapter left after this one. Enjoy and I'd love to hear your thoughts...

* * *

Rick watched the freezer door slam shut, and he knew it was all over. He would give every royalty check he'd ever earned to be back in the isolation tent with Kate and have that moment back. Rick had been on the edge of telling her how he felt, how he'd felt for a long time.

Every since their kiss, well, both of them, he'd been watching for a moment to step in and tell Kate how he felt. Kate was the one in a relationship, and she had to make the first move. Then when she had Rick been ready to take her hand and jump into a relationship with both feet. Like Kate, he was through with having one foot out the door.

Once again, the moment had slipped through his fingers. Given the rising tension and the fact they were locked in a freezer; he might never get the chance now; he'd missed too many already. Whether it was his fault or Kate's, they'd both been skating around how they felt for too long and due to recent evens they were destined to continue the dance.

* * *

Shifting closer to Rick, Kate decided she hated fate. She hated that once again they were stuck and she wasn't just talking about inside this freezer. She'd seen the way Castle had looked at her when they were talking in the isolation tent. For just a moment, she'd seen the truth and had been about to reach out to him. As always, that's when they were interrupted.

It wasn't fair. Why was she so comfortable with Castle but terrified of Rick? She was too concerned about making their escape than analyzing her feelings on the issue, but some small part of her brain wouldn't let it go. After all, they might die here, and then she would never know.

Of all the ways to die, she had never considered freezing to death; it was never high on her list of possibilities. Being shot or drowning, yes, but never this cold, slow death that gave her way too much time to think. It was just too cruel.

Shifting her head, she looked up at Rick and touched his chin with her fingers. Kate hoped she could say all the words that she wanted to before...

"Castle... Thank you for being … you."

And she was glad he was the man he was. She had never met anyone like him. A few years ago when she'd searched out Rick Castle, Kate never thought she'd find the kind of man she did. She had known he had a daughter but hadn't expected a caring, compassionate, loving father, someone strong enough to stand by you even in your darkest hours.

That first night when she approached Rick Castle, the author, she had prepared herself to have all her ideals shattered. In the end, she hadn't found Derek Storm, but she'd found something much better. She'd found Rick. A man she could spend the rest of her life with if she could just get over her fears.

He pulled her closer and whispered, "Always."

The one word sent a shiver through her. It was like he was saying something else entirely, but her sluggish brain couldn't seem to precess it. Time was running out on so many levels.

She fought to stay conscious long enough to say the words she'd ached to for so long. "I just wanted you to know how much..."

Rick felt Kate slip away, and he didn't wait any longer. Hoping that somehow she might hear him, he whispered, "Kate, I love you. I should have said it a long time ago. If we get out of this, I'm going to tell you and let the chips fall where they may. I'm tired of sitting on the sidelines waiting."

Then he bent down and kissed her forehead before slipping into unconsciousness and he just hoped this was the end...

* * *

Rick felt a trickle of water run down his nose. Lifting his hand he reached up to brush it away but his hand didn't seem to function right. Concentrating harder he managed to poke himself in the eye instead of wiping the drop. Slowly, he sat up and looked around only to be pushed back onto the gurney.

"Mr. Castle you need to lie still. We've warmed up your body, but it's still not as warm as it should be." Josh, said.

Rick closed his eyes so he would have to look at the last person he wanted to see. He hope that he and Kate might have time to...

Managing to nod Rick lay back down and relaxed only to have his body tense up as he remember she'd been in his arms when he'd passed out. Her fingers on his cheek were his last memories so clear as he'd looked in to her eyes and had hope that they might have a future, a chance together.

"Kate!" Ignoring the wave of dizziness that threatened to make him collapse, Rick tried to get off the bed to go look for him. "She's fine. Kate is in another ambulance. I was just with her, she's awake and asking about you too. Now lie back and warm up."

Doing as he was told Rick laid back and waited to be released. Finally after what seemed like hours they'd let him go. Still wrapped in a blanket he stepped down off the ambulance.

He watched the two of them together, Kate and Dr. Motorcycle Boy. Why was he here? Was Josh was supposed to be long gone to Africa or some other tropical locale in need of a doctor or two.

Wrapping the blanket closer around himself, Rick had a thought. He knew fate had once again smacked him in the face, and he was tired of it. Maybe he and Kate were just not meant to be. He wrapped the blanket around himself, wishing he wasn't so cold.

* * *

There you have it leave a review if you want. I love to know what you guys think. This is my first Castle story...

If you want to know how I ended this one the last chapter is posted on my site www. kellethmetheus. com (take out the spaces). I'd love to hear your thoughts since so many of you are reading. For my website updates you can find me on facebook, just search for my name and you'll find me! Like the page and you'll get updates each week.


	6. Zero

**Author's Note:** This one is now done. I hope to be posting another one soon. If you want me to hurry just leave a review they feed my muse. Thank you all for reading this story and for those who have reviewed. You have all made me smile.

* * *

Kate watched Castle walk away from her, wishing as he disappeared it was his arms wrapped around her and not Josh's. As soon as the elevator doors closed, she knew it was over between her and Josh.

She had seen the truth when she and Rick sat in the radiation tent waiting to know the results. Kate didn't know what had changed, but she finally wasn't scared anymore. She'd faced death with one man at her side, the man she loved, and it was time to put up or shut up.

If Captain Montgomery hadn't walked in, Kate was sure Castle would finally have spoken up. She had to know if these feelings were real not only for herself but him as well.

Pulling away from Josh, she took his hand. "Can I talk to you for a moment?"

"Yeah, sure."

Kate lead him into the interview room and closed the door. "Josh-"

Reaching out, Josh rested his hands on her shoulders. "Hey, I know. I was there when they pulled you out of the freezer. I saw you and Castle. If you want to leave, I'm not going to stop you. I've always known I was second fiddle, but I decided to hang on for as long as it lasted to see if that would change."

Opening her mouth, Kate tried to say she was sorry and to explain why she was doing this.

"Kate, I knew the first time I saw you with Castle. I knew how you felt about him but I thought the fact you were with me meant something. I see now, I was wrong. Don't wait any longer; you've faced death too many times to let this go. Have a good life."

Josh pulled her into a tight hug. "Kate, goodbye." He kissed her forehead, and then he was gone.

0o0o0

Kate raced down the stairs, hoping to catch Rick before he found a cab. There had been too many times today when she had needed him to be strong, and he'd never let her down, unlike Josh.

When the two of them had stood in front of the bomb, regrets had filled her, and she'd wished that she had taken the time to say so many things.

She raced out the front doors, looking for Castle, just as it started to rain. Standing in the downpour, Kate looked up and down the street and saw Rick disappear around the corner. Pulling her coat collar up around her neck, she rushed after him knowing if she let this night end without talking to him, it might never happen. If she wanted a future with Rick, she had to stop hiding away.

He stayed just ahead of her and turned a corner. When she reached the other side, he'd vanished. Looking around, she decided he must have entered the small park up ahead.

Stepping into the park, she stopped. Castle sat on a bench, head in his hands, seemingly oblivious to the rain. She almost turned around and left. Did he want company; should she interrupt this private moment?

Kate turned to leave but stopped. If she left now she might never have the courage to do this. Drawing a deep breath she pushed herself forward after grabbing a couple of cups of coffee from the cart on the street.

Crossing the park, she paused wondering if he even wanted to see her. "Mind if I sit here?"

Rick looked up, surprised. "Sure, have a seat."

Lowering herself onto the bench, Kate held out one of the cups of coffee. "Pretty crazy day?"

"The last few days were pretty intense. My head is still spinning."

"I thought you'd be headed home to Alexis and you mother."

Castle took a deep breath. "No, I sent them out of town again. They were waiting for me in the Poconos. I called them to give the all clear; they'll be back tomorrow morning. We've made plans for lunch." He looked down at his hand where it rested right beside Kate's, so close yet so far away. "I thought you'd be with Josh."

At the brush of his fingers, Kate pulled hers away, wrapping her hands around each other. He was too close, and she'd let her emotions out of the box. She had to keep it all reigned in for just a little bit longer. "Yeah, about that; I ended it. It just wasn't working out, we were..." She glanced into Rick's eyes. "I made a choice, one I should have made a long time ago. I was with him because I didn't want to be alone. I'm so tired of being alone, but that's not a reason to be with someone."

"I know what you mean. It's too depressing. After all this time, I have nothing but ex-wives and an emptier bank account. The thing is there **is** someone, but I'm so scared to screw it up that I haven't made a move. Also, I'm not sure she feels the same way. " He glanced quickly at Kate before looking away. "I mean there are times when I have hope, but then...Anyway, it doesn't matter. Too much time has passed, and I missed any chance I would have had. I blew it, big time."

"Are you sure? Maybe she's scared and is waiting for you."

Rick's head snapped up, and he made fishy motions with his mouth unable to speak.

Reaching out, Kate took his free hand. "What do you say, Rick? Shall we jump in with both feet? I'm tired of being afraid."

His hand traced her cheek and her eyes closed at his touch. Castle's breath ruffled her hair as his other hand buried itself at the nape of the neck, pulling her face close to his. There was a slight hesitation when he paused just inches from her lips. "Are you sure about this? Once we cross that line, there is no going back. I'm not going to let you go...ever."

Lifting her own hand she grabbed the front of his wet coat closing the distance. "Never been more sure of anything in my life, Rick. Now shut up and kiss me."

Rick's response was a low chuckle before obeying her command.

* * *

There you have it. If you want to see a organized listing of my stories go to my site www. kellethmetheus. com (take out the spaces) or follow me on facebook if you'd like updates on when I'm posting things. I'd love to hear your thoughts since so many of you are reading. There is another Castle fic on the way, now I just have to finish it...


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